Three Reasons Romantic Comedies Are Terrifying

Rom-coms are horror movies in disguise. They may not like a slasher flick, but just because they’re not “Saw”-worthy doesn’t mean they’re not incredibly creepy. Think about it, without the happy tunes in the background the plots would give you the heebie-jeebies.

1. Stalking is normal:
Stalking is apparently normal, and even admirable in the romantic comedy world. There’s “Sleepless in Seattle”, where Meg Ryan watches Tom Hanks and his son playing on the beach. I repeat, Meg Ryan – a person that Tom Hanks doesn’t know – hides out of sight and watches Tom Hanks and his child playing. This is not walking by and having a “missed connection”, this is following someone because you don’t have the social boundaries to understand that is inappropriate.

ImageHe doesn’t know it’s our first date.

Speaking of crossing social boundaries, what about Adam Sandler in “50 First Dates”? His case of stalking is more interesting because his love interest Drew Barrymore has short term memory, so she doesn’t remember what happened the day before. Isn’t that funny? Now he has to win her over – a lot! No, that’s not funny because she has a mental disorder that makes her vulnerable to being taken advantage of in situations. Like, you know, by stalking her, tricking her into talking to you and eventually dating you. That’s not creepy at all.

2. Invading privacy is key for dating:
There’s a romantic comedy called “Little Black Book” which is based off a girlfriend (Brittany Murphy) who through her boyfriend’s palm pilot to snoop about his exes. Rummaging through a love interest’s property is the point of the entire movie. You need to find out everything they’ve ever done to know if they’re your soulmate. So take that palm pilot, search through his emails, and root through his trash! That is in no way an invasion of privacy and reason to see a therapist.
And my absolute favorite is “27 Dresses”. “27 Dresses” scares the shit out of me – not because I’m a commitment-phobe. It’s because the dreamy journalist James Mardsen finds Katherine Heigl’s planner and refuses to give it back. Instead he uses the planner to follow her around to all her events, tries to coerce her into dating him, and she doesn’t do anything about it! This is supposed to be cute dating banter!

3. Lying Is A Foundation For Romance:
Pretend to be something you’re not! Like popular, rich or young. Follow the rules of “Never Been Kissed” and pretend to be a high school student. Then fall in love with your teacher and presto: stable relationship. It’s not weird that someone would live a lie in order to achieve a goal, manipulating the people around them and violating a basic form of trust. That’s just what sociopaths do.

These are just examples of things I’ve noticed in some romantic comedies. They’re fairly universal in the formula for a rom-com. See if you can spot the stalkers, creepers and liars in your faves! You’ll find yourself comparing the movies to warnings from Broadview Security commercials than to dreams come true.

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